From the desk of Anthony Buchalka

Thanks for joining me.

Maintaining and Building Self Esteem

Self esteem is basically a term that means “how we view ourselves”.

When we have high self esteem, we view ourselves in a positive light. When we have low self esteem, we view ourselves negatively. These two things can affect our sense of self worth and affect the way we deal with people.

If our self esteem is low, this may affect the way we function in relationships, the types of jobs we have, and whether or not we finish high school or attend college. In fact, there are few things in life that are not affected by our self esteem. That is why if our self esteem is low, we should work on building positive self esteem so it will benefit our lives in a positive way.

Building self esteem can be a long process, depending on how bad your self esteem really is. If you look in the mirror and do not see someone who has worthwhile qualities, you could really use a self esteem boost. Here are some ideas that will help turn your low self around by building positive self esteem. It will also help maintain your self esteem if you don’t have a low opinion of yourself.

Mirror exercise.

One good exercise to do for building self esteem is to look in the mirror and think about what you see. When your reflection is staring back at you, you may have an initial gut reaction. Pay attention to what that reaction is and write it down. Put it in an envelop and seal it.

Then, think about all the things that come to mind that are positive and write them down on a slip of paper and slip it in an envelop. Seal that. Do the same thing for all of the negative things that you see. In a few days, break open all the envelopes and read what you see.

Was your first reaction focusing on the positive or the negative? Your answer will determine whether you seem to have low esteem or high self esteem.

Positive qualities.

If you decide not to do the exercise listed above, take some time to list your positive qualities. Find as many as you can, but make it no less than twenty. Post this list somewhere visible, such as on your mirror. Make another copy and put it in your wallet.

Read this list several times a day. The theory is that when building positive self esteem you need to surround yourself with positive things. The more you read through these positive qualities, the more you will believe that it is the positive things that define you and you should not focus things that are negative. The positive things will fuel your self esteem.

Affirmations.

Saying affirmations is another way to boost your self esteem. Take some time to write five or ten affirmations based on your favorite positive traits about yourself. For example, if you love that you listen well, one of your affirmations can be, “I am a great listener.” Other affirmations can get right to the point. Say phrases such as, “I enjoy high self esteem” throughout the day. The key to these affirmations is to repeat them often. The more you say the statements, the more you will believe them.
Watch others.

Are there people in your life who do not have low self esteem? Chances are, they don’t need any help with building their self esteem. It will be worth your while to watch them in action. How do the behave and act around others? Try to mimic their behavior as best as you can. If you start off by looking confidence, others will perceive you this way and you will eventually start to believe it.

Get outside help.

Sometimes your self esteem problems may point to deeper psychological issues. It makes sense then that getting help from a therapist or life coach can help you put your life into perspective and give you a new found sense of confidence and self esteem. They will help you let go of the past and of the things that are bothering you and build a new life based on your new perceptions.

To find a therapist or life coach you may want to ask around or you can look in the phone book. Your goal is to find someone who understand what you are trying to do and will work with you based on your personality and your needs.

Material things.

A lot of people think that self esteem comes from wealth and material things. This could not be further from the truth. How many things you have should not define who you are and should not fuel your self esteem. If it does, then you don’t have a true sense of self esteem. This is something to work on. Remember that real self esteem comes from within.

I will be back soon.

All the best.